An (Extremely Biased) Ode to Deflategate

(Caution: I am a devoted Patriots fan, with no desire to forge any sort of partiality. The content below is completely and utterly biased.)

The sky is blue.

Water is wet.

And Tom Brady is a free man.

Yes, all is right in the world; the greatest quarterback in the history of football will be playing football next Thursday against the Steelers in the opening game of the season – which Roger Goodell will not attend.

With the decision coming down from Judge Richard Berman that Tom Brady’s four-game suspension would be nullified, the most overblown story in the history of sports finally ended.

Every Patriots fan has had to deal with the “cheaters” label for months, while the league and it’s “private investigator” toiled in a calculated attempt to screw over the Patriots and Tom Brady. We knew they had no evidence, but we’ve had to simply take the lies in stride. Colleagues, peers, teachers, teammates, even strangers got their digs in at the most successful franchise in sports. They wish they had Tom Brady. They wish they had Bill Belichick. They wish they had Robert Kraft. They wish they had the rings.

Thursday was our turn.

Our chance to wear a Super Bowl champions shirt with no guilt. Our chance to revel in the wounds of Roger Goodell and his state of pure humiliation. Our chance to sit back and search for reaction from the Patriots haters – Bill Polian, Mark Brunnell, Chris Mortensen, any writer for an Indianapolis newspaper, etc. Our chance to get the last laugh.

The antagonistic “journalists” still took to the internet with hot take click bait.

And more hot take click bait.

Astoundingly, these “professional journalists” actually get paid to write that (journalist is in very loose quotations).

I’ll almost miss hearing the league actually believe that “generally aware” of cheating would hold up in the court of law. Thankfully, the days of “Patriots against the world” will go on. The league has already appealed the judge’s ruling, as if they haven’t encountered enough embarrassment. The appeal will likely last longer than the full NFL season, and the detractors will remain vehement. Goodell is too far in; he absolutely has to fight this one until the bitter end. After all, would it even be fun if other fans didn’t hate us?

The only gray cloud hanging over this otherwise glorious day? Bob Kraft regrettably decided to let the NFL off the hook and not take them to court for the blasphemously egregious punishment. A four game suspension for Brady is farcical on its own, but for the NFL to take away a first round pick and $1 million from the Patriots is asinine.

But now is not the time to be regretting that decision – not today. Today we tune into WEEI (Boston sports talk radio) to hear each accented caller glow about where they were when they heard about the decision. Like the guy who got a call from his wife at work and immediately left to lounge in his pool and sip his beer all day. “It is a great day in American history,” the brash caller declared. Not sports history, but American history. The man isn’t wrong.

In the words of the great Bill Simmons – for whom today’s decision is ultimate vindication – “God Bless America.”

Touchdown Tom is back, 19-0 here we come.